Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
