The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
