i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
