Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
