they need to just BURY HIM!
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
