I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
