i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
