it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Randomize
