so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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