Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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