Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
