I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
