so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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