i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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