Life is so much better after having sex.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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