i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize