Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize