i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
