I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
