I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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