so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
