Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
