The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
