just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
