Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I think i got beer on your cat.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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