Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Randomize
