People with herpes should wear stickers.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
