Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
