god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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