So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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