Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize