We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
