Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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