Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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