I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
