I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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