Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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