Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
