yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
