why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
