WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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