Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
