Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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