google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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