There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
The power of my boobs compel you
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
