We won't sleep together?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
