We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Randomize
