last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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