You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
