i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
